Lilith Morgana

The other night we were hanging out in a pub and at some point everybody left except for K and I and K's classmate and his girlfriend. So we were talking to them. The classmate's very into politics - far left - and very into debating things. The girlfriend's well... she's very much white trash/chav/extremly uneducated and proud of it. I grew up surrounded by these people. My parents don't own books. They haven't been to college. My best friends growing up thought Not Without My Daughter was considered a "classic" and they don't vote because well, their men do. (Plus it's hard being updated when you have to buy cute plates and shave your pubic hair all the freaking time. I don't know.)

Anyway. It was completely awful. Mostly because she's so nice. She's like a fucking dog, nice and friendly and utterly stupid. And she kept talking to me, the way some women do because you know, you ought to let the men talk about manly stuff while we bond over something else. K and his classmate were discussing queer theology - like hell I wanted to discuss her boring job as a cleaner! Every time I tried to participate in the Manly conversation she kept interrupting and at some point she was all "it's hard to understand, isn't it? I don't get any of those fancy words they're using, I suppose it's the same for you." Yes, yes, it's all greek to me. Let's talk about Big Brother!

Quote #1: "I took like, one class at Uni because people were like teling me to study something and it was about I dunno, saving the enviroment or something and they were like oooh, we have to be careful with how much water we use. Like, if I wanna shower and then have a bath, I'm going to - I'm the one who pays for the bills anyway, right?"

Quote #2: "Like, feminism is all about discriminating men nowadays. If I would say I'm a feminist at a party, everybody would like, think I've got hairy legs and hate men, LOLZ!" And then she said something about what "everybody" thought feminism meant and I asked why the hell I should care about what "everybody" thought and she explained to me that men feel hurt by women claiming they must step back and I wondered how we would achieve a 50/50 split of power and money unless the group currently possessing 80% will give some of it up but that lame basic lesson in sane logic was too much for a white trash brain.

At this point K was trying to save me from throwing a hissy fit by changing the subject but of course the classmate took the bite and started going on about the downsides of feminism. Apparently feminism is not a valid political or philosophical standpoint because feminism doesn't care about people in wheelchairs. I don't know. I honestly don't know what he was going on about but it was insanely stupid. It made me not like him and I had to down a beer as K was trying to draw parellells to some texts about patriarchal theology - but of course the classmate took it as a joke ("yeah, apparently I'm preaching using a language of oppression". K and I were like "well, DUH." AND THEY DIDN'T UNDERSTAND THE SARCASM OH MY BRAIN.)The classmate claimed people in wheelchairs (they're not actual people, you know, they're Wheelchairmen and Wheelchairwomen) were much more discriminated and - yes, this is an actual quote - A LARGER GROUP than people benefitting from feminism.

It was epic. Our new inside joke is now "That's what you think. But what about the black mute man in the wheelchair!?" Because we're evil.

I was just so uncomfortable. It felt a bit like these past seven years have been for nothing and I'm doomed to be stuck inside a conversation about how wanting equality and not treating people differently because of their genitals is DEGRADING TO MEN OMG FEMINISM WANTS MEN TO NOT RAPE AND BE ASSHOLES HOW AWFUL OMG OMG!!! U NAZIS!11111

But the best part is that they invited us over for a party next week.

We're still laughing about that.

Last night I used the word "patient" to describe myself in my CV. K laughed cruelly at that, which I thought was most rude. I also put down "organised" since that's a nice trait for a librarian to have.

Scene from this morning (and, frankly, most mornings):

Me: Where is my brown skirt?! WHERE? *look through closets for a few seconds, then stomp into the kitchen to pout*
K: Have you checked the laundry basket?
Me: "Have I checked the laundry basket"... well, no, but I know it's not in there. It's GONE. Okay. GONE. (Not finding stuff makes me very dramatic.)
K: I think I saw it last time I did laundry.
Me: Yeah? Well in that case it's gone now. *looks aimlessly beneath some of my other rubbish. Fail.* I suppose I'll never see it again.
K: *picks it up from the pile of chaos that is my part of the closet* This is the one?


And now I'm off to have beer with some girls from my now finished class at the center for gender studies.

Star Wars: Knights of the Old Republic. How great is that game? I spent a good two months before Christmas obsessing over it, staying up way too late to play and then I got the PC version of KOTOR II from my sister and dear god, Kreia!

I could write so much fanfiction about Darth Revan.

Thankfully, people already have and K bought me two comic books full of the goodness! :)

• Study (comparative) lit again. Am writing a thesis that refers a lot to Brecht. I'd like to think of it as a quiet mockery of the bourgeois theatre. It probably isn't.

• Work part-time (50% this month, which is WAY too much when you study full-time) in the university library. It's a new library, awesome people and lots of actual librarian duties. I loves it.

• Cuddle with K. Yeah. ♥ We've been together for almost 6 months omg. Last month we bought a bed together, for crying out loud. And I'm not scared. I usually run away screaming after a few weeks, but hey, this time I introduced him to my parents after a few weeks…

• Hate on the medical science for not having developed better birth control methods. It's 2007! I stopped taking Cerazette a few days ago after three months of constant bleeding, nausea, sore breasts (they grew a cup-size too, how lovely) and random headaches. Already feel better. So tired of this shit now. K will assume full responsibility for a while, then, as my periods go back to normal, I'll see a doctor again to discuss alternatives.

• Read a lot. I've been obsessively buying books since August and now I've started to chew them.

• Have forgotten how the HP fandom works. Dumbledore is gay but not the Good Kind of Gay and Omg Homophobia! (Nobody screams homophobia quite like the heterosexual women.) Because the true way of representing queer men (slashers do tend to be uninterested in women, let's not pretend otherwise) is to write Snape/Harry romance. Amen. Personally I know all about the Stereotypes OMG and I still think the fandom is pissed off mostly because the GAY ONE wasn't young and hott and Sirius but our sneaky God-character. First Rowling proves me right in that Remus Lupin is a fucking asshole, then she makes my Albus gay. Good times.

How are you doing these days?